[JOI Word of Torah] Big Tent Judaism: Chayei Sarah

[Kerry M. Olitzky]

"Big Tent Judaism" Word of Torah

November 18, 2006/Cheshvan 27 5767

Chayei Sarah

Everyone struggles with the death of those they love. It matters not the
shape or configuration of your family. At the end of Sarah's life, Abraham
takes on the obligation of finding a burial place for his wife. Abraham
admits that he is a ger v'toshav, a "stranger" who is residing among the
others, a term that resonates with an increasing number of folks in the
Jewish community as a way of naming those non-Jews who have cast their lot
with the Jewish people. He negotiates for the cave of Machpelah and buries
her there. Abraham mourns. He weeps. Apparently, this is the Torah's
shorthand way of describing Abraham's devastating loss. And the small letter
kaf in the word "v'livkota" (and he wept for her) indicates that he is so
overwhelmed by the joy of Isaac's survival and Rebecca's birth, that he
cannot fully express his grief. It is even one of the explanations offered
for the peculiar order of mourning and then weeping. I would have
preferred-and expected-more from the text about the depth of Abraham's
mourning. Perhaps it is so obvious that it needs no further explanation. 

The classical commentators help us to understand the Torah's way of
describing Sarah's age at her death. Rashi tells us that each term must be
explained by itself as a complete number (100 years, 20 years, 7 years) and
she remained sinless throughout (actually as sinless at 100 as she was at
20). Without debating Rashi's understanding about the possibility of anyone
living such a long life sin-free, it is clear that the Torah is emphasizing
the respect in death that Sarah deserves after the meritorious life she has
led, as described by the Torah. Even Rashi's "Her years were equally good"
is a little more palatable-she was a woman who enjoyed her life and she was
blessed throughout. 

At the end of the parasha, Abraham dies and he is buried by his two sons
Isaac and Ishmael, reconciled and able to join together to bury their
father. And even though we know of the tribulations of the lives of these
Biblical characters, the Torah shows us the power of death to eclipse all
else. In the face of death, we realize that family and relationships are the
most important things in life.  

But our experience in working with interfaith families and their children
does not reflect such an easy time for them, even at the end of life, for
the Jewish community continues to struggle over whether spouses who come
from other religious backgrounds can be buried in synagogue cemeteries or
whether rabbis can officiate at their funerals. Sarah's merit was assessed
at the end of her life. It was clear what she had accomplished. Can not the
same be said for those who have cast their lot with the Jewish people, who
have raised Jewish children? 


Dr. Kerry M. Olitzky
Jewish Outreach Institute
1270 Broadway, Suite 609
New York, NY  10001
tel: 212.760.1440
fax: 212.760.1569
 <http://www.joi.org/> www.JOI.org <http://www.joi.org/> 

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You are welcome to use these ideas in your own work and writings as long as
you would be so kind as to credit Rabbi Kerry Olitzky and the Jewish
Outreach Institute, thank you.

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