The Reform movement's 1983 decision to regard children as Jewish so long as they are raised Jewish, has been a source of considerable friction in the community. In an effort to address the issue constructively, JOI included a question in its series of public opinion surveys between 1990 and 1993 which asked "Would you consider your own grandchildren Jewish if only the father is Jewish and the mother is not, if the children were in fact raised Jewish?" This question was posed to three different samples of the North American Jewish Population.

In 1990, that question was asked of a crossection of rabbis, synagogue presidents, UJA Federation leadership groups and executive directors of Jewish agencies. The same question was published in the US and Canada in the spring and fall of 1993. The purpose of asking the question in that fashion was to get people to focus on the issue of Jewish identity and continuity less in ideological terms and more in terms of their family feelings.

To our surprise we discovered that while there remain considerable ideological differences, particularly among Conservative and Reform Jews on the issue of patrilineal descent, in fact, there is very little difference of opinion when the question is posed in terms of people's own grandchildren or potential grandchildren. In the 1990 survey, with over 2,000 responses, we found that 95% of those who identified themselves as being of Reform background, would consider their own grandchildren Jewish even if those children were "patrilineal." The Reform responses were not surprising. More surprising, however, was the fact that 65% of respondents who identified themselves as Conservative, would also consider their own grandchildren Jewish even if those grandchildren were technically speaking patrilineal.

In the 1993 survey of Jewish philanthropists, we found that 96% of those who identify themselves as Reform would regard their own grandchildren as Jewish even if their source of Jewish identity was patrilineal descent. On the other hand, only 18% of Orthodox would do so. Again, no great surprise here. However, what was surprising is that fully 72% of the respondents who are of Conservative background would consider their own grandchildren Jewish even if the basis of Jewish identity was patrilineal descent.

These findings suggest that among the two largest denominational groupings of American Jewry, namely, the Conservative and Reform, an increasing majority of people who consider their own grandchildren Jewish even if those childrens' claim to Jewish identity was based on patrilineal rather than the more traditional matrilineal descent. What this further suggests is that when it comes to Jewish continuity in the family context, the desire for Jewish grandchildren takes precedence over whatever ideological constraints a movement might place on the formality of Jewish status. Ultimately, the question of "who is a Jew" is likely to be answered by the decision of Jewish grandparents who are asked, "Which of your grandchildren do you regard as Jewish?" In the face of the rising rate of intermarriage, the more likely answer is "all of our grandchildren."