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Discussion Topic
 Future Jewish In Laws HELP!
  (Started by Scramblepop)
 

Discussion Posts
Scramblepop[ Profile - Edit Post - Poll9:30 pm on 8.26.2006
Hello,

I am currently engaged to a wonderful woman who happens to be Jewish. While her parents say that they like me, they are pushing me to convert to the extent that it has drivin a wedge between us. They have placed her in a position where she effectivly needs to choose between them and me. They also have been VERY disrespectful to me and my parents.

Her father's main concern is that there will be absolutely no chance that any children we may have will not be raised Jewish. I am an atheist and have no problem with that (my partner and I have already discussed this). However he is still pushing for a conversion for "cultural reasons" which, being a philosopher, makes no sense to me. He has also made it clear that he would not want our children to visit my parents at Christmas time (when I usually go to visit) becuase their house will have "Christian Symbols". Mind you, none of this has anything to do with religion in his eyes. It is etirely a "cultural issue".

My question is how can someone DEMAND respect for their beliefs without being able to extend the same respect to another? Also if his concerns are purely cultural, as he says, how can the fact that my parents are Catholic be much of a threat?

PLEASE HELP!
 

ip: 69.86.244.196

jseltzer[ Profile - Edit Post2:51 pm on 8.28.2006
Thank you for writing and sharing your experience with JOI. Relations with extended family can be one of the most challenging aspects of intermarriage. When I read about your future in-laws' discomfort with "Christian symbols" around Christmas time, I was reminded of this interesting article that we wrote about on our blog, and I invite you to take a peek: http://joi.org/blog/index.php?p=136

We would also like to send you Kerry Olitzky's book "Making a Successful Jewish Interfaith Marriage: The JOI Guide To Opportunities, Challenges and Resources," which may help spark some ideas and prepare you for some of these issues. You can send me your address to jseltzer@joi.org.

Best,

Julie Seltzer
Communications Associate
Jewish Outreach Institute
 

ip: 70.19.27.132

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