Associate Editor

A "Jewish mother" doesn't have to be Jewish anymore.

Not according to the Jewish Outreach Institute, a New York-based transdenominational group devoted to making the Jewish community more welcoming and inclusive.

One way of expanding the Jewish tent, JOI contends, is by stretching the definition of Jewish motherhood to accommodate non-Jewish women who are interested in creating a Jewish home and raising Jewish children. A national JOI-sponsored program that serves as a guidebook for training this new breed of "Jewish mothers" recently alighted at several sites in the Washington area.

Known as The Mothers Circle, the six-year-old initiative seeks to address the reality of intermarriage in America by teaching non-Jewish spouses (particularly moms) the basics of "doing Jewish," regardless of whether they intend to convert to Judaism.

"A lot of people, both Jews and non-Jews, feel marginalized in the Jewish community," said Sheri Brown, a Mothers Circle facilitator at Conservative Congregation Sha'are Shalom in Leesburg, where she estimated that 50 percent of the families include an intermarried member, although some may subsequently have converted. "Even when the spouse is Jewish, they're not comfortable engaging with the Jewish community."

However, Brown (who also directs the preschool at Sha'are Shalom) added, "They see Jewish values and they want their kids to have Jewish tradition, and for whatever reason, they are not comfortable giving up their faith background. This program is aimed for them."

Brown herself is married to a practicing Episcopalian, although their three children (ages 13, 25 and 26) have been raised Jewish, she said. "I do have sensitivities in this area," she added. "I have a personal interest.

So does Arlington resident Lindsay Levy, 42. She is one of an estimated 15 participants in The Mothers Circle program at Reform Temple Rodef Shalom in Falls Church, which meets roughly twice a month. It began in September and is scheduled to continue through May.

Levy's husband is Jewish, and their children, ages 8 and 11, are being raised Jewish in accordance with an agreement the couple reached before they were married.

"We wanted to have a strongly spiritual home with a sense of belonging to the Jewish community," Levy said last week during an interview following a session at Rodef Shalom. A member of the United Church of Christ, Levy said she knew many Jews while she was growing up in Bethesda.

Noting that "I still go to church with my parents," Levy said her children identify as being Jewish despite the family's celebrating some Christian holidays "somewhat" in the home. "We have a Christmas tree, for example, but we appreciate it for its beauty and not for its religious significance," she explained.

Levy said although her goal is to create a Jewish home, she has no intention of converting, adding, "I don't want to abandon that which I was brought up with."

Barely two hours earlier, Levy led the 12 attendees as they practiced various Friday-night Shabbat rituals -- including the blessing over the candles -- under the direction of Donna Schwartz, a licensed social worker who serves as the Rodef Shalom facilitator.

"You can't stop people from practicing their own religion, but it's very challenging to do both," Schwartz said in a subsequent interview. "To me, you can only practice one. Our goal, however, is not to exclude people, but to educate them and include them so they feel more comfortable."

Guided by the JOI curriculum, the participants spent the rest of the session seated in a circle and discussing Jewish values, practices, gastronomy and memories-in-the-making they thought were particularly important to nurture in their homes. Among the leading offerings: making the holidays and Shabbat special, protecting the environment, learning more about Jewish history and being honest.

"And not gossiping," added attendee Roseanne Geisel, a Catholic resident of Arlington who is married to a Jew and raises her 9 1/2-year-old daughter as a Jew. "It drives me absolutely nuts in carpool to hear these little people slicing and dicing their classmates."

In addition to Sha'are Shalom and Rodef Shalom, the program, which is free, also is being offered locally at Conservative Congregation Beth Emeth in Herndon and (Independent Liberal) Bethesda Jewish Congregation. In the next few months, it is expected to be offered at the Jewish Community Center of Northern Virginia in Fairfax and the Jewish Community Center of Greater Washington in Rockville.

Although JOI provides the curriculum and consulting help for The Mothers Circle, the Jewish Federation of Greater Washington is contributing $25,000 to pay for facilitators and babysitters and to cover local marketing costs. The federation has funded a variety of interfaith outreach programs over the years, but The Mothers Circle may be noteworthy in that it specifically targets the non-Jewish spouse rather than the intermarried couple.