What makes the Jewish community strong? Is the community stronger if everyone in it is the same? If it is closed to outsiders? Or if it is open? At JOI, we’ve argued for a long time that the strongest American Jewish community is one that reaches out, one that embraces the diversity that comes with participating fully in American life. A lot of that diversity comes from marriage. As the intermarriage rate rises, there will be more and more people in the Jewish community—in the synagogue, at the JCC—who are not Jewish. How does a strong community respond new people?

“There’s nothing to say that if included and welcomed that they can’t also strengthen the Jewish community,” said Rabbi Ron Segal of Temple Sinai, a Reform synagogue in Sandy Springs. Rabbi Segal was referring to participants in The Mothers Circle, a JOI program for non-Jewish women in interfaith households who have committed to raising their children in the Jewish tradition. For more about The Mothers Circle in Atlanta, read a recent article in the Atlanta Journal Constitution.

Through The Mothers Circle, these women become comfortable with Jewish rituals and traditions. Some, like Jeanine Schmid (raised Catholic on Long Island) find Judaism spiritually fulfilling and decide to convert. Others, like Susan Shields (raised Methodist) remain in their own religion while sharing Jewish traditions with their children. In either case, the inclusion of women who have chosen Jewish life partners, who have chosen to raise Jewish children, who have cast their lot with the Jewish people, makes the Jewish community both larger and stronger.

Family, good friends, and home-made challah—some of the best things about Shabbat (Sabbath) dinner were all there at the Chai Center in Avon, Connecticut, where fourteen families gathered for a traditional Shabbat. But the most interesting thing about this Shabbat was the least traditional—the moms at the table are raising Jewish families, but they are not Jewish themselves.

Intermarriage is on the rise, and an increasing number of women who were not brought up Jewish are deciding to create a Jewish family for their kids. The Mothers Circle offers these moms a Jewish education, hands-on experience with Jewish rituals, and the support of their peers.

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President Bush recently did something we can all agree upon. Just a few weeks ago, he made the month of May Jewish American Heritage Month. Jewish American Heritage Month will stimulate interest in Jewish culture. We hope to see film festivals, book promotions, concerts, and other public events celebrating Jewish culture. JOI believes that these cultural events provide a wonderful opportunity to reach out to unaffiliated Jews, especially the children of interfaith families who may not be engaging with their Jewish heritage.

Jewish American Heritage Month will be an opportunity for communities across the country to implement JOI’s Public Space Judaism model. It will make sense, for example, for Jewish organizations to co-sponsor with other cultural organizations and run events that celebrate American values of pluralism, cultural diversity, and social justice. There will also be heightened media interest creating a buzz around these events in the secular press, where unaffiliated Jews (like everyone) get most of their information. Similarly, a month dedicated to recognizing the role Jews have played in American society will encourage the Jewish community to hold more events in secular venues, making the events more accessible for those that would not attend an event held at a Jewishly-identified institution. Jewish American Heritage Month is a great outreach opportunity. Let’s seize it!

After all, if you grow up the child of an interfaith couple that does not belong to a synagogue, how do you learn about Judaism? From popular culture. A recent JOI study of the young adult children of intermarriage, “A Flame Still Burns,” showed that popular culture both shaped and nurtured their Jewish identity. Seeking to understand what is Jewish in themselves, they look for clues in popular depictions of Jewish culture. We believe that increasing representation of Jewish life and religion in secular venues is critical in reaching this population. JOI’s Public Space Judaism model allows Jewish organizations to turn popular cultural events into outreach events.

If you’re married to a Jewish guy, but you’re not Jewish yourself, what’s the greatest barrier to making a Shabbat dinner for your family? The Hebrew? The ritual? Not according to one woman who attended a model Shabbat dinner sponsored by The Mothers Circle in Atlanta. Her problem was the brisket:

“I don’t know how to make a brisket,” she explained, “so I was always too intimidated to cook a Shabbat dinner.”

I don’t think it was really making brisket that intimidated her. (OK, it wasn’t only making the brisket.) The problem was everything that brisket represents, especially tradition. Brisket is such a grandmotherly dish that it seems to have been handed down from mother to daughter for generations. It’s as if Moses’ wife created the first brisket recipe at the foot of Mt. Sinai and carved the recipe in stone, creating the little-known Eleventh Commandment: “Thy meat shalt thou cook for many hours. It shall be grey, and neither shall there be any pink in it.”

With all that tradition and authenticity wrapped up in brisket, how could a novice ever make the recipe her own? That’s like asking: How can a woman possibly pass on the Jewish tradition to her children if she wasn’t raised in it herself?

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Purim begins tonight.

Purim traditions include dressing up in costumes, eating, drinking, exchanging cookies, and making a lot of noise.

Because Purim is light-hearted, we at JOI have been suggesting that it provides newcomers with an easier first encounter with the synagogue then the High Holidays, which are much more somber (and costlier!).

Purim celebrates the story told in the Book of Esther. Unlike most books of the Bible, it reads a little like a fairy tale. According to the story, the foolish king Ahashuarus marries a beautiful Jewish woman named Esther. But she doesn’t tell him that she’s Jewish. Mordecai, Esther’s uncle, moves near the castle to keep an eye on her. Unfortunately, he falls afoul of Haman, the king’s evil minister. Mordecai refuses to bow down Haman, so Haman tells the king that Mordecai is a threat to the state. Moreover, he accuses the Jews of plotting to destroy the kingdom. The king obligingly agrees to have the Jews massacred. Esther foils the plot when she points out to the king that she would be among Haman’s victims.

As you can imagine, this story offers great dramatic material. A Purim play (called a Purim spiel) is a Purim tradition. So is a reading of the scroll of Esther (usually just called, the Megillah, the Scroll) at the synagogue. During the reading, people stamp their feet and wave noise-makers whenever Haman’s name is mentioned. Many people (especially children) come in costumes. (The last Purim service I attended, the cantor was dressed as a magician.) Many synagogues hold Purim carnivals for children. Families and neighbors exchange cookies, especially triangular cookies called Hamentaschen, which means Haman’s hats in German. In other words, Purim is exciting for kids and even fun for adults.

In addition to JOI’s own Purim information you may want to take a look at Judaism 101 for more information about Purim, its history, and its traditions.

JOI is pleased to announce the launch of the newest local chapter of our program, The Mothers Circle, in Greater Hartford, Connecticut. The Mothers Circle serves non-Jewish women in interfaith relationships who have committed to raising their children as Jews. It takes courage for a mother to raise her children in a religion not her own. JOI wants to help the Jewish community offer these women the support they need and deserve. The Mothers Circle empowers these mothers by connecting them with each other and by giving them access to Jewish knowledge.

Women can access The Mothers Circle at three different levels, all free: a national listserve email discussion group [sign up form here], informal local holiday gatherings, and Mothers Circle: The Course, an introduction to Jewish practice and ethics. The Course works so well because it creates synergy between the participants and an able facilitator. Greater Hartford is fortunate to have found Laura Kinyon, an experienced family counselor, to facilitate the group, and we encourage any non-Jewish woman in the area who are raising Jewish children to be in touch with Laura (motherscircle@jewishhartford.org) and participate.

I was recently asked, “What are a Jewish girl and an Irish girl doing speaking Yiddish in an Upper Westside cafe?” There was a simple answer to this question. My friend and I (both Jewish) were laboriously learning Yiddish, a language that our grandparents had deliberately left behind. The man who asked this question was blond, blue-eyed, and bemused. Except for the yarmulke (skull cap) on his head, he didn’t “look Jewish” any more than I look…did he say Irish?

I thought about this incident when I read that Aaron Dwarkin had won the MacArthur “genius” award. Aaron Dwarkin founded Sphinx Music, which encourages African American and Latino young people to love classical music and to become professional musicians. As Dwarkin told the Jewish Week, his appearance often causes consternation. “I really freak people out. They see my last name and say ‘we were expecting someone old, white, balding and Jewish’ and I show up, young, black and seemingly not Jewish.”

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I walked out of the Jewish Museum’s new exhibition, “The Jewish Identity Project” thinking that identity is a strange and a slippery thing. “Identity” is where the person that you feel yourself to be on the inside intersects with the person that society perceives on the outside. “Identity” is the point at which an individual comes up against categories like skin color, class, citizenship, nationality, and religion. These are treacherous categories. They decide social status. At some points in history, they have determined whether a person lived or died. But there is always ambiguity at the boundaries of these categories. This exhibit features portraits of people whose identity as Jews challenges certain stereotypes of “race” or behavior.

As you enter the exhibit, you see huge photographs of men, women, and children, some at weddings or other obviously Jewish settings. These are faces of all shapes, sizes, and skin tones. “Are Jews white folks?” asks one exhibit. One answer to this question comes from Avishai Mekonen, an Ethiopian Israeli searching for other “Jews of color” in America. At the opposite extreme, two Jewish men strike American Gothic poses against the white railings of their Midwestern porch. They are totally indistinguishable from their neighbors in their town on the prairie. The face of American Judaism is the face of humanity. It is exciting to see the Jewish Museum exploring and celebrating the internal diversity of American Jewry.

So what if this weren’t a special exhibit? The point of the “Jewish Identity Project” seems to be: “Jewish diversity, it’s more normal than you think.” It is time to incorporate that diversity into a permanent view of who is a Jew. According to the 1990 population survey, a little over half of American Jews are married to someone who is not Jewish. This percentage is likely to increase in the next century. Jewish families and identities are becoming more complex. JOI feels that it important to acknowledge that complexity. This exhibition takes a step in the right direction by reflecting Jewish diversity back at the viewer.

“I need to experience an alien culture by next week,” a friend of mine said gloomily. We were both graduate students in a small midwestern town at the time. He was taking a course intended to improve his cultural sensitivity and make him a better teacher. To pass this class, he needed to find a place where he would feel totally confused and alien, like a fish out of water. The small Midwestern town did not offer much in the way of exotic and alienating experience, or at least he thought it didn’t. After all, he had spent two years in Africa as a Peace Corps volunteer.

“You want to feel confused?” I said. “No problem. Meet me at 6:00. Alienation guaranteed.” I took him to a religious service held almost entirely in a foreign language. Everyone in the room seemed to know what to do, except him. People sat, stood, swayed, sang and prayed silently. Sometimes pages were announced, sometimes not. He flipped through the prayer book totally lost.

It was a perfectly ordinary Friday night synagogue service.

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