Below is the latest entry in the “Preparing for Passover” Blog written by participants in JOI’s Mothers Circle Program:

Recently, I found myself reflecting on a Passover checklist. One glance had me simultaneously laughing and growing anxious. I laughed because the items reflected an approach to Passover and the Seder which is wholly absent in our home. Anxiety set in when I saw what we’re not doing and started second-guessing how we do things.

The whole cleaning and koshering (or is it kashering?) of the kitchen ritual is entirely alien to me. Years ago I received the wise advice that hiring somebody to clean your home for you is far less expensive and more effective than marital therapy. After 10 years of marriage, I have to agree with this statement. Every other week, a lovely woman, Zina, cleans our home. Actually, what really happens is that every other week I realize that Zina is going to come to our home and I frantically run around, cleaning in advance of Zina’s arrival (if she can’t find the floor, she can’t vacuum). A few years ago, Zina arrived one early spring morning and asked eagerly if I wanted a “Special clean.” I didn’t understand what she was offering and asked her to try and explain more fully.

“You Jewish clean?”

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s your holiday coming! The Passover? You like the Jewish clean today?”

I was touched. Zina’s Russian Orthodox but understands that we’re Jewish (or at least that’s what we fill out on the forms). I knew that Zina also cleaned the home of our neighbors who’re more observant than we, so I asked what she did for their home.

“I used the Easy Off.”

“Oven cleaner?”

“Yes. I cleaned the oven with the Easy Off very good.”

Not that I’m one for “keeping up with the Jones”, but in this case, it sounded reasonable. So I agreed. “Yes. Please. That would be good.”

Zina seemed pleased that she could help me with The Jewish Cleaning. I was pleased that I could feel like I’d done some cleaning activity worthy of Passover preparation.

Thankfully, my mother in law set a very low bar against I may be compared. About a decade ago (before her decline), we’d have a Passover dinner at her home. My mother in law was a lovely woman and extremely capable in many ways. Housekeeping, however, was not her strong suit. I will always recall one year when our niece and nephew (ages 9 and 6, respectively) eagerly went on their search for the afikomen. A few minutes into the search we heard my niece shriek in terror and my nephew exclaim, “Eeew! Gross!” In their search, they’d looked under a side table in the living room and discovered a long-deceased mouse.

We presumed that my mother in law hadn’t yet gotten around to going around with the feather.