Big Tent Judaism

For the Sin of Exclusion of Intermarried Families

In the most recent issue of the Forward, the paper asked many prominent rabbis and thinkers to share what they believe we as a community need to atone for this Yom Kippur (which begins this Friday night, Sept. 17). One that immediately jumped out at us was written by Rabbi Harold Kushner, who believes we should atone “for the sin of writing off the intermarried.” He writes that instead of viewing all those who intermarry as “trying to escape their Jewishness,” we should turn the tables. “We would do well to see intermarriage more as a doorway that can lead into Judaism than a doorway leading out.”

Almost ten years ago, we used the same message in a holiday card and received many angry responses, but our conviction never wavered.

We believed then as we do now that intermarried families deserve to feel welcome in our synagogues and institutions. We are pleased to see that prominent rabbis such as Rabbi Kushner are finally hearing what we have been saying for so many years. Here is our original message, which should still be added to the reading of the Al Cheyt (confession of community sins) on Yom Kippur:

For the sin of exclusion of the intermarried which we have sinned against you…

We have to make room in our congregation and in our hearts for the intermarried members of our family and community. They too deserve the opportunity to hear the ancient message of inspirations this High Holiday season. They make their homes with us, help raise Jewish children, and have cast their lot with the Jewish people. Now it is time to include them, as well.

We have always believed that the future of the Jewish community will be determined by the warmth with which we welcome all those in our midst. Today that includes a rising number of intermarried families and their children. It’s painful that we still need to atone for the sin of excluding these folks, yet we are optimistic. Seeing this welcoming message printed in the Forward is a sign that more are taking up an inclusive view of Judaism and the Jewish community.

As we refresh our bodies and souls this Yom Kippur, let’s seize the opportunity to renew our commitment to inclusion and ensure that everyone can find room to stand under our Big Tent.

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