Big Tent Judaism

In Memory of Len Wasserman

The Jewish community lost an important leader this month. And while some people in the Philadelphia community may have known about Len Wasserman and his work, others may not have been so fortunate to have been touched by his unflagging desire to reach out and welcome in intermarried families. Unlike so many others who get involved in such work, Len’s adult children were not intermarried. He simply saw the logic and the moral imperative in creating a context, particularly in the synagogue community, to make interfaith families feel at home. So he started what became Interfaithways and when he couldn’t find funding to support this important endeavor, he funded it himself.

I met Len years ago—our first meeting was at the Philadelphia train station. He wanted to meet me, to learn more about JOI and our work with intermarried families. Over the years, he attended our conferences and we had many conversations. Sometimes, he and I disagreed about which approaches were most effective. But we never disagreed on goals or motivations. He will be sorely missed, but his imprint will be felt for many years to come.

Click here to sign the virtual guest book.

A Blessing for Spouses of Other Backgrounds

When I went off to college, my grandma laid it on thick: “If you marry someone who’s not Jewish, you’re responsible for shrinking the Jewish population! You have a responsibility!” She gave me the good ole Jewish guilt, but good. Up until this point, I had never had a Jewish boyfriend, and since then have only had one. Regardless, I made a decision that no matter who I marry, I will be Jewish, and my children will be Jewish. I would deal with the rest later. But I was concerned. I envision joining a synagogue, but if my spouse ends up not being Jewish, where can I go? Will my family be welcomed, or cast aside?

Since beginning my work here at JOI in August, I have been encouraged to learn of an important new trend toward inclusion. An increasing number of synagogues are not only welcoming interfaith families—whether by offering their own programming or running national programs like our Mothers Circle, or joining our Big Tent Judaism Coalition—but also by just saying “thank you,” in a very public way.

A recent article in the Chicago Tribune highlighted a beautiful gesture many Chicago-area synagogues made during Yom Kippur this year – a blessing for the non-Jewish spouse. The blessing, first given in 2007 by Rabbi Janet Marder of Los Altos Hills and presented in various forms at many Reform synagogues nationally, thanks spouses of other backgrounds for everything from welcoming Judaism into their lives to driving the Hebrew school car pool. This recognition shows a change in feeling towards interfaith families, acknowledging that the Jewish community is not in danger because of these spouses, but is instead being saved by them. By participating in a faith other than their own, and raising their children Jewish, these spouses give hope to a religion that currently accounts for less than 2% of the American population.

My grandmother may be right that the Jewish population is smaller than ever, but not that I have to marry Jewish to keep the culture alive. I’m excited by the steps more and more synagogues are taking to welcome interfaith families, and look forward to more doing so in the future.

The High Holidays as an Open House

Did something keep you from going to High Holiday services this year?

For many people, the answer is “yes” and the reason is “the cost.” With possibly thousands in synagogue dues, and additional costs for High Holy Day tickets, many Jews simply can’t afford to attend synagogue on the most important days of the year. This is especially true for young single Jews, and young Jewish families, who have no need yet for a Hebrew school, and may only attend synagogue two or three days a year.

Many synagogues are seeing drops in attendance due to the high costs associated with being a member, and are beginning to lower their financial barriers by providing free High Holy Day services. The model echoes that of the Chabad movement; according to Chabad’s media relations director, Rabbi Motti Seligson, “the way we see it, Judaism belongs to every Jew and we try to remove any barriers to engagement.”

(more…)

A Warm Welcome on the High Holidays

This past week, Rabbis around the world gave some of their most important sermons of the year—if measured by the size of their audience. The High Holidays present rabbis with the opportunity to speak to many more congregants than usual, and we are always appreciative when they take the opportunity to address issues of Jewish engagement, intermarriage, and conversion, the most important conversations for 21st Century American Judaism. How do we welcome in interfaith families? How do we extend a hand to Jews-by-choice?

Rabbi Jonathan Freirich of Temple Beth El in Charlotte, NC, gave a beautiful sermon last week that focused on welcoming intermarried families and Jews-by-choice, as well as Jews of color, LGTBQ Jews, and Jews by birth looking for deeper meaning and a more enriching experience with their religion and heritage. He spoke candidly of his own experiences, and also cited some great stories of how we as a community can be welcoming to all those who wish to be Jewish and/or raise Jewish families:

Every time someone comes to speak to me, I have the opportunity to open the door to Judaism for them. I work to welcome everyone through that door. Any discussion any of us have may be their first step into our community, or, God forbid, as it was with my grandmother, their last step away from our community and all of Judaism.

Rabbi Freirich is setting an example that synagogues should consider following: one of inclusiveness through an overall change in how the Jewish communities welcome those they see as “outsiders.” It is Rabbi Freirich’s belief that these “outsiders” may actual hold the future of the Jewish people, helping to raise Jewish families and keeping the traditions alive.