Big Tent Judaism

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

The marking of every bar/bat mitzvah is special for the student, family members and congregation. However, Ahavas Shalom in Newark, NJ recently had a particularly momentous Bat Mitzvah; a young woman, Mei Ming, a Jew-by-Choice, became the first person of Chinese descent to become Bar or Bat Mitzvah at the synagogue.

A decade after her adoption in Wuhan, China, Mei Ming decided that she “wanted somewhere to belong” and found such a warm and welcoming community at Ahavas Shalom. At this Conservative synagogue, “everybody knows your name. It is a place where people from different races and cultures can come together and celebrate one thing.” Eighteen months later, after intensive studies and training, Mei Ming stood on the bimah, chanting her Torah portion.

All of us at JOI congratulate Mei Ming, her family and Ahavas Shalom on what we are sure was a beautiful Bat Mitzvah celebration and a historic day for the synagogue. The “patchwork heritage” (to borrow a phrase from President Obama) of the North American Jewish community continues to grow and it is an inspiration to all of us when Jewish institutions embrace diversity with loving and open arms. In a few short years, I too will celebrate this diversity and witness my cousin of Asian background stand before her family and congregation in southern New Jersey chant her Torah portion.

There are many examples of Jewish communal institutions that are shedding assumptions of what Jews “look like” and how families are configured. They all add to the collective memory of the Jewish people as it marches forward. Jewish continuity is found in diversity. What story of diversity is your family or community/institution adding to the on-going saga of the Jewish people?

Baby Traditions and Judaism

Rebecca Gross, the national coordinator for our Grandparents Circle program (for Jewish grandparents with interfaith grandchildren), posed an interesting question on the Grandparents Circle listserve (email discussion group) that I would like to share:

Having new grandchildren can sometimes bring up family and relationship issues. In many Jewish households, a baby boy is ritually circumcised on the 8th day after his birth in a ceremony called a brit milah (or “bris”). In traditional Jewish contexts, baby girls have naming ceremonies on the Shabbat following their birth, while in liberal circles, the timeframe is far more flexible.

I recently spoke to a grandmother whose new grandson did not have a brit milah. She was both hurt and disappointed by that, and said she felt like her son was rejecting her traditions. She also wondered what this first step meant for the future Jewish identity of her grandson.

Would you feel similar? Or have you also encountered this situation with your own children? If so, what steps would you or have you used to broach discussing these topics with them?

We would love to hear your thoughts. And if you are Jewish with intermarried adult children and would like to sign up and engage in all the discussions these grandparents are having, please contact Rebecca Gross at BGross@JOI.org to join the listserve.