Big Tent Judaism

First the “December Dilemma,” now the “April Aggravation”

In December, the confluence of Hanukkah and Christmas supposedly caused a “December Dilemma” for interfaith families around the tensions and challenges in celebrating the holidays, and received plenty of media attention, including from our friend Sue Fishkoff at the Jewish Telegraphic Agency (JTA). Just a few months later, it’s déjà vu all over again. Once again, we find ourselves in a situation where a major Christian holiday shares the calendar with a Jewish holiday, and once again, Sue Fishkoff is on the job, showing us that many interfaith families are choosing to take part in both celebrations in order to diffuse any potential tensions. The article cites many interesting and illuminating statistics, all of which come from a survey from InterfaithFamily.com of 236 interfaith couples who have chosen to raise their children Jewish.

While these families have chosen to raise Jewish children—and are therefore not representative of all interfaith families—it is interesting to note that while participation in Passover activities was near-universal, participation in Easter activities occurred much less often in interfaith families where the mother is Jewish. That information underscores a key point that we here at JOI have been citing for some time now: more often than not, it is the mother who sets the religious tone of the household. We initiated The Mothers Circle program to help women of other religious backgrounds learn more about Judaism so that they can better participate in sharing Jewish traditions with their children, not just the traditions of their own childhood. It is also interesting to note the “backward compatibility” of Judaism for the Christian spouses, who almost all enjoy the Passover Seder, compared to the many Jewish spouses who feel highly uncomfortable participating in Christian ritual. This, too, doesn’t come as a surprise but is nevertheless highly interesting to see identified in a survey.